‘We can do better for the children’: Lived expert shares story of foster care journey

GUEST COLUMN | MARGARET ELIZABETH SPENCER

Editor’s note: Cyclist Jeff Vine has embarked on a cross-country charity ride in honor of his partner, Margaret, who lived in foster care as a child. Foster America, the beneficiary of the fundraiser, invited Margaret to tell her story in her own words. 
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My name is Margaret Elizabeth Spencer. 

I was in foster care three different times during my upbringing. My new year’s resolution for 2025 was to finally start sharing my story. 

My childhood was marked by instability and hardship, and my mother battled mental illness throughout her life. When I was 2 years old, my father left. Unfortunately, my mother was not capable of managing four small children on her own. When the police found us living in the back of a U-Haul truck, they took all four of us children and put us each into a different foster home. 

I was separated from my siblings — and anything familiar — each time I entered foster care. My time in foster care was brief (anywhere between six months and a year and a half each time), and I was always returned to my birth family — but things never worked out. 

A major concern for children in foster care is the lack of continuity in their lives — continuity of their routines, continuity of being around family members and siblings, continuity in their community and living in the same home. But the biggest challenge is that they do not have the continuity of an adult and role model who loves them throughout their journey. Bouncing around from home to home is rough enough. Not having the continuity of a loving adult in their life makes it more difficult for them to form healthy relationships.

It takes a community to raise a child. I believe we need to find ways to engage more people in the upbringing of all children. If it were not for many women who stepped in as mother-, sister-, and aunt-type role models, I’m not sure where I would be today. 

At 17, I found myself on my own, relying on friends until I could graduate high school. After turning 18, I met a woman who became a mentor and helped me see the possibility of going to college. With her guidance, I enrolled and eventually earned an associate of arts degree.

Today, I am a multi-entrepreneur, working as an interior design business manager and living in San Diego.

A year ago, I met Jeff. On our first date, he told me that he was planning a bike tour across America. It would start in San Diego and finish in Washington, D.C. This was really shocking to me because I have two daughters, and one lives in San Diego and the other in D.C.! It definitely felt like a destiny moment.

We chose to partner with Foster America because we support their mission to ensure parents who are struggling can get the help they need — so no child has to be placed in foster care like I was. 

My hope is that families can stay together during rough times and that parents will get the support and education they need to become better parents. I hope that children do not lose the comfort and familiarity of being around their siblings in troubled times.

When I was only 6 years old, and my mother was placed in an institution to address mental health issues, I promised myself, “When I get big, I will help the children.” 

I’m ready to make good on this promise to myself. 

By sharing my experience, I hope to be an inspiration to those who experienced the foster care system — and to bring awareness to the need for our society to support parents who struggle.

We can do better for the children! Help me help the children. 

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